1. I was seeing my Gyno regularly and was both insured as well as regularly seeing my Dr.’s (Dentist, General/Family, Endocrinologist, OBGYN, and Optometrist). However I was slowly and gradually manipulated in one way or another into financially supporting my ex- and ended up going without insurance nor routinely going to my Dr. because I couldn’t financially afford it and although I know their are many options out there for me to seek out either free or discounted medical care, I am from an up-bringing that we just consult with our physician and work out a payment plan, because your life is too precious to entrust your medical to just anyone and we had had previous experience with incompetent physicians, so that caused a lot of worry when considering anyone else in treatment.

2. The manipulation was so well crafted that it wasn’t until my unintentional pregnancy that I realized what an irresponsible mistake I had made and where my part played into it. Although I was never fully aware of the reproductive coercion up to this point, until long after our relationship had ended and I was trying to recover from the post-traumatic stress of events that occurred within our relationship. It was after my unintended pregnancy and my reaction to it; terminated in a state of I guess one could say self-preservation, because I did not want to do it, but I was so distraught at the reality of all the potentially distracting and non-sensical legal issues I would be put through, by a person who hasn’t exhibited anything but “dead-beat-dad” behavior. I considered all the options and each one was a fight with him, he wanted it his way and I felt like in the end, I loved my child and myself too much to be put through the ringer of disrespect and unfulfilled responsibilities from him. I felt it was not right and he was going to fight me on the adoption issue too and culturally speaking I felt like I was going to be limiting my chances in life by being “damaged property.” It hurts now to know that I was not as informed about abortions as I thought I was. They seemed to be safe and I was told by a friend that had had one between her own children and felt reassured that I wouldn’t suffer any long-term physical consequences.
That’s when the intimate partner abuse started in conjunction with the blatant contraception sabotage. In my defense I could possibly take blame for the pregnancy, but I learned my lesson and I practiced diligent abstinence in the face of his reproductive coercions, regarding contraceptive and that’s usually when it would escalate to the verbal and/or physical abuse.

I just wanted to share this with you and hope it helps your studies, because in the aftermath of all this I’ve gone through, I want to be able to hold him legally accountable for making me what I see know as “damaged goods” I have no idea what my future fertility will hold until I get there and it’s sad that one can be so brutally victimized and yet the law has no legal action that I am aware of (as of yet) to prosecute men who go around and just “spread their seed” so to speak. And it wasn’t until our break-up that I learned of and came to realize that I am not the only one he’s done this to. I am just one in a number and it’s morally wrong. I feel people should be held accountable for these types of irresponsible behaviors, because if for nothing less, I feel like he probably doesn’t even know any better and his lack of education on this matter perpetuates the negative associates to what & how government assistance is meant to used for. I also feel like it victimizes women and perpetuates the whole domestic violence issue and maybe prosecuting people for Reproductive Coercion could at least provide them with resources and efforts to get help to overcome their own obstacles and provide a proactive concept in personal growth.